but that's okay we still have new years.
I am unfortunately not looking forward to this Christmas. I think I am just stressing out way to much, and being sick is really not helping. This time last week I was incredibly happy, I was moving on with my life. Somehow I ended up right where I started perviously, just with a different person this time. I don't really I know if I expected liking someone else to be any different. I think that I wanted it to be different this time, but I knew that I wouldn't be. I guess I just didn't want to admit it to myself.
It is the exact same thing.
Keeping real feelings to myself, butterflies in my stomach, always having them on my mind, constantly wondering if the feelings are mutual, or if it is a one way thing, worrying I am going to say the wrong thing and spill my heart.
I'd love to place the blame for these feelings on someone else but I just can't. It is my own fault, I make myself feel like this.I guess there is still a chance for things to change this time. I just need to find the courage within me, but who knows where that is anyway.
I fall in love far to quickly.
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