I've been thinking about you a lot today, more than I have the past few weeks. It was silly of me to think that I could replace you easily. It's not a simple task and it is proving to be harder than I thought it would be. Even though you're still in my life, just a little bit, you're around. It makes me feel a lot better. Things may not be exactly as comfortable or good as they used to be but I like knowing that when I really need to hear from you, you'll answer me. You're always going to mean so much to me and I can only hope that I've meant as much to you. I'm only going to post this here because I know I'll be the only one to read and it's better that way.

I cannot recall a time when I've missed someone so much. It's been over a week since we've spoken and I know something is missing. I haven't heard you comforting words, your pointless stories that and insignificant to me, your waking me with a "Good morning beautiful". I don't know when you'll be coming back to me and if you ever will be for that matter, so I have been forced to find things to occupy my time with. I can't sit by my phone all day because I know I won't hear from you. I've been sleeping a lot more, hoping to run away from things that way, but I'm only reminded of the fact you're not around when I wake up up without being contacted from you. I do more work now, put away my phone and computer and just work. But I'm finding it takes less time that I expect and am soon back to waiting to hear from you. I've been talking to others hoping maybe one will fill the void that you left, but they don't stick around, not like you did. You stuck around for everything, longer than anyone, but then you decided to up and leave like everyone I told you has.

I asked you to make me one promise when we decided to head on this adventure, and soon after the journey started you broke your promise. You didn't know on purpose, I know this, but it still hurt. I've forgiven you even though you haven't apologized. I want you back around even though you'll never really be here. I want you to be happy and for your life to be carefree no matter what. But I often wonder, what about me? When do I get to be happy and carefree? I am incredibly happy with my life but I only have myself to thank for that. I want to feel the happiness that comes from another. That's what I've been wanting for a while.

You will continue to be the person who makes me feel that happiness, not forever, but for a while. I'm not in love with you although it sounds as though I am. I'm happy that I have had the chance to have you in my life because I've realized so many things while you were around. I know you will come back for a different journey perhaps this time, that's all I want, you to be around.